My life thesis

What meeting God taught me about relaxing, enjoying life, and loosening my grip on who I need to become.

During a mystical experience, I met God. We had a conversation, and the message I brought back was surprisingly simple:

“Just relax and enjoy.”

Life is a game. We forget this. We become so attached to our identity, so convinced of our importance, that we spend years stressing about what we need to accomplish and who we need to become. From the perspective I experienced, we are here for eternity. There is room to breathe. To explore. To enjoy the ride.

That conversation has become the center of my life thesis.

I’m still learning how to live by it.

The pressure I brought with me

For years, business occupied most of my life. I often worked more than 70 hours a week. I built a company, a team, an office, revenue. I wanted to create something meaningful and bring more harmony into the world.

I also wanted to succeed. To be recognized. To feel that I was doing something important with my life.

Those motivations can live together, and they did in me. I cared about what I was building, while becoming attached to the image of the person building it. The next goal always gave me somewhere to go. There was more to do, more to improve, more to become.

I consciously chose business over many other parts of life. I don’t regret everything about that choice. I learned so much, and I still love creating things. But I lost touch with some of what makes life feel good: connection with myself, with other people, with the world around me.

Even happiness could become another project. Something to figure out, optimize, reach.

Then I had experiences where the person carrying all those ambitions disappeared for a while.

Meeting God

In some plant ceremonies, I experienced what felt like dying. My identity dissolved. The boundary between me and everything else disappeared. There was consciousness, love, and a sense of unity that was far beyond anything I had understood intellectually.

God is the word I use for what I encountered. Source. Universal consciousness. The life experiencing itself through all of us.

I can describe it, but the words will always be smaller than the experience. What stayed with me was the feeling of recognizing something I had forgotten.

I experienced myself as part of something eternal. The identity I defend, the achievements I want, the judgments I carry, all became much less absolute from there.

And in that conversation, God told me to relax and enjoy.

I had put so much pressure on this life. On getting it right. On being someone. On doing enough with the time I have.

The message loosened something in me. I could participate in life with more freedom. I could care, create, love, and explore without carrying quite so much anxiety about whether I was becoming the right person.

Remembering the game

I came back from these experiences with a different relationship to death.

I believe the consciousness we are does not end with this particular identity. This life is one perspective, one way of experiencing existence. At some point that perspective changes, but I no longer feel that everything we are simply disappears.

That belief has made me more comfortable with death. I still want a very long, joyful life. There is so much I want to experience here. But the fear has less power over me.

I see something funny in how seriously we take ourselves. We arrive without remembering who we are. We build an identity, defend it, compare it with everyone else’s, and worry about whether it is impressive enough.

I do this too. I can understand the cosmic joke and still get completely caught in my little story.

But sometimes I remember. And the whole thing becomes lighter.

I’m here, alive, able to experience this world. There are people to love, places to explore, things to create. I don’t need to resolve the meaning of the universe before enjoying any of it.

I still want to build things

My ambition hasn’t disappeared. I love entrepreneurship. I’m fascinated by AI and what we can create with it. I want to make music, bring people together, explore ideas, and build things that improve our lives.

The difference is in the relationship I want to have with those desires.

I can give a project my full attention without making its success the condition for feeling good about myself. I can want something intensely and accept that I don’t control everything. I can be proud of what I create while remembering how small my individual contribution is in this enormous world.

This is difficult for me sometimes. Building is exciting. There is always another possibility, especially with technology moving so fast. It’s easy to disappear into it and forget my own message.

I want AI to help free more of our time and attention. And I want to use that freedom to actually live: spend time in nature, move my body, make music, be with people. That matters in how I build my own life today, whatever happens with technology tomorrow.

I named my company Harmony because that is what I wanted to bring into the world. I need to remember to include myself in that intention.

Enjoying the whole experience

When I say I want to enjoy life, I mean more than having fun or feeling good all the time.

Some of my most meaningful experiences have been uncomfortable. They made me face my judgments, my ego, the gap between what I say and how I act. I value those experiences too.

In the Amazon, surrounded by music and celebration, I also had to confront how much humility I still needed. I wanted to feel connected, and I could see parts of myself getting in the way.

There is room for that in the life I want to live. For sadness, uncertainty, awkwardness, disappointment. I don’t want to turn spirituality into another demand to be happy all the time.

Relaxing means I can give an emotion some space without immediately trying to fix it or build a whole identity around it. I can go through something difficult and remain curious about what it brings up in me.

I want to be available to the experience of living. To love deeply, even when it makes me vulnerable. To try things without knowing how they will turn out. To let myself change.

We are here together

The sense of unity I experienced changed how I look at other people too.

If we are expressions of the same life, there is something strange about spending so much energy proving that I am better than someone else. Or defending my little position in every disagreement.

I’ve started finding glimpses of that love in ordinary places. In a shop. In someone I would have dismissed. In myself on a day when I’m struggling.

It doesn’t happen all the time. But when it does, the world feels different.

This is part of why I care about dance, music, gatherings, and community. I love the moments when people become less guarded, when we can smile at each other, move together, and feel that we belong.

Shared food, a conversation, a dance, a little kindness. These experiences matter to me as much as the big revelations. They are places where I can practice what I say I believe.

And if this life is a game, I want to be someone who makes it more enjoyable for the people around me.

I forget too

Meeting God did not make me permanently peaceful.

I still get triggered. I judge people. I want validation. I become attached to an outcome and start treating it as if everything depends on it.

Sometimes I use beautiful ideas before I’ve really learned to embody them. I can talk about unconditional love and then struggle with an ordinary interaction.

I want to be honest about that. Otherwise, spirituality becomes another image to maintain, another way of trying to be someone special.

The experience gave me a perspective I can return to. Living from it takes practice. Some days that means noticing my judgment. Some days it means apologizing. Sometimes it means deciding that a small conflict doesn’t deserve hours of my attention.

I can choose where to put my energy. I can protect some peace inside myself and keep it for what really matters.

The life I want to live

I want to keep creating. Keep exploring. Keep learning from people who see things differently from me.

I want to build without postponing my life until the work is finished. To enjoy my body while I have it. To spend time with people I love. To make room for music, nature, friendship, and experiences I haven’t planned.

I want to remember that I’m allowed to be here without constantly proving why.

This is my life thesis today. It comes from an experience that changed me, and from the daily effort of remembering it when I get caught up again.

“Just relax and enjoy.”

I still have projects I care about and things I want to accomplish. I want to enjoy the life happening while I’m doing them.